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| from Yesterdays Monstrosity to Today's Reality...
who am I?
a question I can rarely answer yet those around me quickly identify me and group me as they please. yet I really do question if they connect me to the only thing that matters, to Jesus. am I recognized as a christian, even a hypocritical christian, or as one of the masses that does not believe.
and now it hits me...again...
a simple conversation with my girlfriend has placed me back in that humble position I should be in. this summer has distanced me from God, for I am too busy for the subtleties of simple communication with God, and my progression in His word.
to all my friends that read this:
if I don't seem like a christian to you, tell me. I want to be associated with Christ in every way I can be, so that people will see me as different and want that same difference.
I'm not really making coherent sense anymore....later | | |
| Questionable Intentions
i am at a loss, empty handed and confused.
how is it that a Christian University has the potential to be a faith killer. i am in no way saying i am faithless, but i have no reason to believe i have attained more faith through such a process as first year at said educational institute.
and i find that residence was the snake that constricted any and all spiritual growth. surely now i have a basis for more faith; the grounds for more faith on this new knowledge that i have attained, yet such a foundation does not bring about more faith.
so here i am, empty handed, yet handed with a year under my belt. maybe the opportunities for finding God will become more prevalent in my daily life over the summer and into next year...do opportunities for seeking out God need to be handed to me? i question my own faith, examing my insufficiences yet it is all irrelevant for the simple (yet i cannot comprehend it) truth of grace.
so here i am, empty handed, the way i am to be. with my two empty hands, i am to raise them to You in praise. nothing i could ever do or bring could change my situation.
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